Cruising through Europe with my mother

Lonely Planet’s Senior Director of Content recently returned from an 11-day cruise through the Mediterranean and Adriatic seas. Here she shares some highlights from the trip, and some advice for traveling with an older parent.

For as long as I can remember, my 83 year-old mom has wanted to see Positano, Italy. She’s not alone, mind you; this picturesque spot on the Amalfi Coast has drawn everyone from Goethe to John Steinbeck to Jacqueline and Aristotle Onassis – its bona fides and popularity are undeniable.

I’ve been wracking my brain for years about how to get her there, if only for an afternoon, but the idea made my head hurt. Then I came across a Silversea cruise through Europe that stopped in Sorrento (a short drive to Positano), and I threw caution to the wind (despite my many misgivings about the crowds and heat we’d encounter). We booked it in May, and we were ready to embark from Rome at the end of June.

Even before we confirmed, I thought about all the logistics to manage for us: traveling with an older parent means you’re doing the work, sorting flights, packing lists, excursions and reservations. It wasn’t always easy, but we both got what we wanted: an incredible experience spending time and traveling together.

Before I get into what we did and what I learned, here's a quick digest of details that I hope help you plan a similar trip:

• When to arrive: Give yourself at least one full day before your cruise leaves to ensure you make it. I arrived two days prior so I could have a day in Rome all on my lonesome.

• How to get from the airport: Take the train if you’re mobile and strong enough to handle yourself and your baggage. Mom, on the other hand, was arriving from the West Coast with an 8-hour layover. I arranged a car and driver for her in advance.

• Getting around town: I walked everywhere, but the public transportation is pretty great in Rome. My mom, however, needed to take taxis.

• Where to stay: You can stay near the cruise port (it’s in Civitavecchia, about 90 minutes from the city center). Since I had two nights in Rome, I stayed at Hotel Locarno, near Piazza del Popolo. It’s beautifully designed, with an outdoor garden where we took breakfast and a rooftop bar and restaurant where we ate dinner.

• What to pack: I hewed pretty closely to this list. It was the peak heat of summer, so I brought lots of sunscreen, a hat, comfortable walking shoes and a lot of light linen clothes.

What cruise did you take? Where did it stop?

The 11-night cruise aboard a Silversea Cruises ship, the Silver Whisper. We embarked from Citivecchia in Rome and visited the following ports: Sorrento (and the Amalfi Coast); Trapani in Sicily; Tunis, Tunisia; Valletta, Malta; Monopoli, Italy; Kotor, Montenegro; and Korčula, Šibenik and Rovinj in Croatia. We disembarked in Venice and flew home from there.

This was my second Silversea cruise, so I when I booked with only a month to spare, I did it knowing that the caliber of care and the small ship size would be ideal for my mom. Silversea is a small luxury line known for its polished service (every suite has a butler and attendant); all-inclusive meals and drinks from four different restaurants; a bar that also serves coffee and snacks all day; room service (the food is really good, and not just "for a cruise"); specialized excursions (some included, some not) and on-board entertainment (a nightly show, live music, games). We stayed in a Classic Veranda Suite, which is the second-level option.

What was the most touristy thing you did?

Our day trip along the Amalfi coast was exactly what I expected. It was, putting it mildly, a challenge. That said, this was the entire reason for the trip, so we selected a special add-on excursion that would bring us by minibus to Positano.

Our 9am Friday excursion took us by tender to the port in Sorrento, where we met our guide and driver for the surprisingly short – but extraordinarily beautiful – 40-minute drive to Positano. The early hour meant the traffic was not terrible, and we were walking around the picturesque town within an hour.

What we encountered upon arrival was precisely what I had feared: crowds and heat at 10am. My mom walks with a cane, so the vertical nature of this gorgeous seaside town with its uneven, steep and slippery stone paths and sets of stairs without banisters, meant we had to take it very slow and stop a lot to find some shade to rest.

When I say I nearly killed 50 tourists who I believed were intentionally trying to knock my mother to the ground during our chaotic descent... well, you understand. The sheer number of humans packing into this tiny enclave each summer makes enjoying Positano (and the Amalfi Coast) a challenge for anyone, and even more so for those who have mobility challenges. But after an hour or so, we made it to the beach, and for a moment, the throngs seemed to dissipate.

Our excursion included a lunch at a luxury hotel, so we dined at Il Covo dei Saraceni, located just above the north end of the beach. Here, we could quietly and calmly enjoy the glorious view of the water, artistically arrayed with bobbing yachts and the colorful buildings that populate the entire vertical rock face. It was picture-perfect when viewed from a comfortably removed setting.

This lunch was just what my mother had dreamed. The meal was a delight. Prosecco, perfectly ripe tomatoes, mozzarella, pasta – it was all precisely what one would wish. We left Positano sated and happy – the throngs pouring off ferries and further crowding the walkways, and an even hotter uphill climb notwithstanding!

The material point: my mother was absolutely overjoyed by the whole experience, even with all the annoyances. Her dream came true. And we never have to do it again.

The handiest thing you packed?

It had to be the J. Crew wide brim raffia hat. I bought it a day before I left – in that weird panicky moment I always experience before I go on a big trip – assuming I would get some use out of it. I wore it every single day. This hat is actually packable, too, unlike the many I've flattened in suitcases that never regain their original shape.

Your favorite port?

Korčula, Croatia. We didn't have an agenda, but the minute we boarded our tender to the island, I knew this is the place I must return. The pluses and minuses of cruise travel are two sides of the same coin: 1) You're able to see so many different destinations on one trip. 2) You're never anywhere long enough to really immerse yourself in it.

But if you're a "glass is half-full" kind of person, the downside means you're immediately making plans to return to a place you may never have known about (and I did not know about Korčula) to spend more time and immerse yourself in a more meaningful way.

For our day we just wandered the perimeter and labyrinthine streets of their old town. I couldn't take a bad photo. Everywhere I looked the picture I didn't know I needed to take just presented itself. I'm sure like all beautiful spots in the Adriatic, it can be crowded in summer, and full of tourists., but on this day I didn't feel that at all. It was even quiet.

We had lunch at Filippi, along the tree-canopied waterfront walk on the eastern edge of town. We sat in the shade and watched the people pass and the water glint. It's fitting that I found Korčula to be such a winning discovery, it is, after all, the birthplace of Marco Polo.

The best meal?

In Monopoli, Italy, I reserved lunch for us at the delightful Locanda sul Porto, just west of the harbor. They have a beautiful covered patio, though we ate indoors by an open French window. I ordered an Aperol spritz. We had fresh oysters and seafood pasta and finished with a delicious chocolatey dessert. The waitstaff were attentive and so helpful – we were all smiles. And even though it was a random Wednesday, and we arrived right when they opened, it was packed with locals.

Best tip for someone who wants to take the same trip?

On Silversea, and specifically on the Whisper, it is imperative to book your desired restaurants, spa treatments and excursions in advance. We were so late to booking the entire trip, I didn't think about booking the individual restaurants (on board, all but one require booking in advance) until the options were few. Many of the included port excursions were already full, and I never did get the massage I'd hoped for. And on shore, I made a few plans, but ultimately I should have booked more lunches and dinners so we could relax over a good meal while on dry land.

We were never unhappy, mind you. The Restaurant (which is the name of the one you don't need to pre-book) had different specials every night, so it didn't feel overly repetitive. And those specials were evocative of the port, which was a nice touch. We also loved ordering room service, particularly their enormous burger and sweet potato fries.

My favorite meal on the ship, though, was at La Dame, the fine dining French restaurant. It's an additional supplement, but so completely worth it. The sole menieure (fish in a lemony butter sauce with parsley) was as good as any I've ever had (including in France). And don't get me started on the caviar service, with its attendant bits of egg and shallot, crème fraîche and soft, pillowy blinis. I still swoon over those tiny spoons.